Author: I promise you this will look better in a few days

Conversation

Bones: You’re just like a thief.
Kirk: Am not. Thieves don’t always obey rules, are people you wouldn’t usually suspect, have groups of people like gangs, and actually if it’s okay with you I’ll just stop talking right now.

Conversation

Kirk: Spock and I are so close, we’re like male sisters!
Bones: Don’t you mean brothers?
Kirk: No. Male sisters.

Regular

spock: i feel no emotions whatsoever
bones: 

Conversation

Spock: Our lives have no grand purpose. We are, at heart, just small specs in the grands scheme of things.
Bones: Well, that’s depressing.
Kirk: No. It’s beautiful.

Conversation

kirk: what disease do beekeepers get
kirk: hives
bones: hives is a skin reaction due to excess antihistimines not a disease
kirk: hives

Conversation

kirk: maybe i have dumb bitch syndrome. maybe im a complete neanderthal and absolutely illiterate. but i will NOT allow you to disrespect me
spock: five minutes ago you backflipped away from me and almost fell out the airlock because you were “defending your virtue from the thots”. What is a thot?
kirk:
kirk: let’s just say im one of them
spock: ??

Conversation

*The captain and his first officer are surveying the geography of an unknown planet*
Kirk: What do your elf-eyes see, Mister Spock?
Spock: …

Conversation

Chekov: *attempts to beam down in a spiderman suit*
Kirk: Yes. This will give us strength.
Bones: *chugging whiskey* I’m too sober for this shit.

Conversation

*literally anything happens*
Bones: So, well, thought about it, and… no.

Conversation

Kirk: Let’s get some air in here, eh?
Bones: Jim, that’s the airlock.