Author: I promise you this will look better in a few days

bones, smacking bread onto both sides of kirk’s head: what are you?
kirk: a snack
bones: No.

spock: i try to be understanding of the captain’s feelings but there’s always so many of them

bones: Before we commence on this inevitably ill-fated adventure I wish to re-assert to those present my irrefutable claim that this is a, frankly, horrible plan the design and conception of which I had absoloutly no part in and that I can, in no way, be held responsible for the consequences of this imminent misadventure. That said, Allons-yyyYYYYAAAAAAAH!

bones: how can you say something like that?
spock: but it’s just simple mathemati-
bones: DON’T BRING MATH INTO THIS

bones: do you even like me?
spock: of course i like you
bones: name one thing you like about me.
spock:
spock: your best friend.

Hello:

Bones:

Spock: We have to plan, we have to figure something out.
Kirk: Spock, when have any of our plans ever actually worked? We plan, we get there, all hell breaks loose.

Bones: I bet I know what went down with you and Jim.
Spock: Doctor, you know the rules. There is no fraternizing amongst high-level crewmembers.
Bones, under his breath: I think y’all might’ve fraternized a time or two.

bones: so i-
spock: no one asked
bones: People are allowed to say new things you fucking dick son of a bitch who will get nowhere in life with that bitch ass attitude fuck you for being renowned for being a dumbass, a jackass and a failure. Fuck you I hope you’re the first to die when the apocalypse starts, which probably isn’t far since you and your bitches are the fucking god damn fucking fuck shit reason society collapses all the time; you refuse to listen, YOU THINK YOU’RE SO FUCKING COOL, WELL I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU FUCKWAD, YOU’RE NOTHING NEW AND JUST THE 50TH VERSION OF THE GUY JUST DOWN THE STREET. YOU’RE FUCKING BLAND, UNINTERESTING, GO FUCK YOURSELF. And you know what? NO ONE ASKED YOU! YOU FUCKING SHIT BAG FUCKWAD SON OF A BITCH BITCH ASS BITCH FUCKING DICKWAD SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE AND LET ME AT LEAST TRY TO BE AN ASSET TO SOCIETY YOU FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING DICKWAD BITCHWAD WADWAD HOE.

kirk: I’m gonna be singing Cher Lloyd by Cher Lloyd, Oath with Becky G
kirk: right. and don’t forget all trouble we got into-
bones: WHY DOES SOMEBODY NOT KNOW HOW TO FLUSH A TOILET AFTER THEY’VE HAD A SHET?
kirk: It wasn’t me
bones: WELL IT WAS FUCKIN ONE OF YAZ! DISGUSTANG