Category: bones

Bones: Okay, okay, okay. Why don’t we just put this to a vote, and then we’ll be done with it.
Spock: I’m not voting.
Bones: No one cares.

Kirk and Spock: *gazing into each others eyes*
Bones: *opens a beer and starts chugging*
Kirk: …we’re having a moment here.
Bones: And I’m having a drink.

bones: we’ve now entered the “bridge crew are on bath salts” stage of this five year mission

Kirk: Aw, Bones. Don’t be sad!
Bones: Why not?
Kirk: I don’t have a good answer…

Kirk, for the 100th time: All around the mulberry bush the rabbit chased the weasel-
Bones: *gets up and grabs his medical bag* If sing that one more time I’m gonna give you a hypospray.
Kirk: *starts humming it after a moment*
Spock: *nerve pinches Kirk*

Bones: God, Spock is driving me up the wall. Don’t you just hate him interfering with everything?
Kirk: [distracted] No, no, I love Spock.
Bones: Now that’s something I haven’t heard before.
Kirk: I mean… what did you ask me, again?
Bones: If Spock bothers you.
Kirk, stuttering: No, no. I – I love being… around him. Professionally, you know he is always… stimulating.
Kirk, unsuccessfully trying to save face: Not in the erotic sense of the word!!

Spock, having a realization: The Captain is making me an idiot.
Bones: Ask him out. It’s the story of life. Robot meets boy. Robot gets stupid. Robot and boy live stupidly ever after.

bones: uh, it’s called salt.
spock: that is what I said.
bones: no, you said “sodium chloride.” yes, it’s the same as salt, but you could’ve just said salt instead. everyone knows you’re a genius, you don’t need to say overly large words to sound intelligent. the fact of the matter is that nobody cares how smart you are. if anything, calling simplistic objects by their scientific name ironically makes you seem less intelligent and more pompous. I know you’re smart enough to be better than this.

kirk: i’ll worry about that bridge when i come to it.
bones: i kinda think you should worry about it before then.
kirk: if i worried about a fraction of the stuff i should be worried about, i would never get anything done.

kirk: I don’t know how to tell you all this, so I’m just going to whisper it into Bones’s ear, causing him to shout it out in astonishment.
kirk: *Whispers to Bones*