Category: bones

Conversation

Kirk: [in the middle of a mission going South] You know, it’s at times like this that I really wish I’d listened to what Bones told me.
Spock: Why, what did he tell you?
Kirk: I don’t know, I didn’t listen.

Conversation

Spock, who took flirting advice from Bones: your hair looks good today
Kirk: it looks good everyday
Spock: you make flirting very hard
Kirk: you make me very hard *winks*
Kirk: that’s how you flirt

Conversation

Chekov: Hi my name is Pavel with a B and I’ve been afraid of insects my whole lif—
Bones: Stop stop stop. Where?
Chekov: Wha—
Bones: Where’s the B?
Chekov: There’s a bee?

Conversation

Spock: My intestines do not speak well of this.
Bones: What????
Kirk: I’m guessing his gut tells him something is wrong.
Bones: Oh… oooh!

On their first day as roommates at the academy

Jim: Let’s tell tech other secrets about ourselves.
Bones: Okay, I’ll go first. I hate you.

Conversation

Kirk: You can’t come in.
Spock: Why not?
Kirk: Because, uh, Bones is naked.
Bones: What?
Kirk: Well, I couldn’t tell him I was naked. He’s allowed to see me naked.
Bones: Why does anyone have to be naked?!

Conversation

kirk: hey bones, could I crash in your room tonight?
bones: let me ask the captain.
kirk: but I’m the cap-?
bones: he said no.

Conversation

Spock: Doctor, while I subscribe to the “Many Worlds” theory which posits the existence of an infinite number of Spocks in an infinite number of universes, I assure you that in none of them am I dancing.
Bones: Are you fun in any of them?
Spock: The math would suggest that in a few I am a clown made of candy. But I do not dance.

Conversation

Kirk: does sarcasm help?
Bones: wouldn’t it be a great universe if it did?

Conversation

Kirk: So how are you feeling?
Bones: Fine, except for this headache that comes and goes-
Spock: [enters room]
Bones: Oh look, there it is.