Kirk: We need a plan… how long can you hold your breath underwater?
Bones: I don’t know.
Kirk: You familiar with the term ‘slam and cram’?
Bones: No, and I don’t think I want to be.
Kirk: How attached are you to the skin just above and below your lips?
Bones: Very, very attached, and before you ask another terrifyingly vague question, let me be clear: any plan that involves even one of those scenarios isn’t going to work for me.
kirk: well, you can spend the rest of the day being bitter about this—
kirk: I was going to say “or,” but why bother?
Kirk: Joe came down with ligma, updog
Bones: What’s ligma?
Uhura: Who’s Joe?
Spock: What is updog?
Kirk *internally*: My entire life has been spent leading up to this moment
Bones: this whole thing’s gonna be a goddamn fiasco
Kirk: And I’m gonna enjoy every minute of it.
Bones, after knocking over some paper: what a fucking mess
Kirk: it’s just paper?
Bones: no, my life
Bones: I mean, certainly, not everyone sucks in the same way, and not everyone sucks equally, but everyone sucks at least a little.
Bones: Jim, is that a hickey?
Kirk: No, it’s a mosquito bite.
Spock: Hello Doctor.
Bones: Hi mosquito.
bones: please for the love of everything make a move
kirk: I brushed spock’s hand once
bones: make a bolder move
Kirk: Bones, I need to talk to you.
Kirk: It’s about Spock.
Bones: Oh, then no.
Bones: Jim, I need to talk to you.
Kirk: [nasally] Nah. Forget it, I’m taking the day off.
Bones: Hay fever?
Kirk: You’re good. It’s like you’re a doctor or something.