Category: bones

Conversation

Kirk: Okay, we’ll figure this out. Let’s go over our options.
Bones: Options? We’ve got two. We’re screwed and we’re screwed.

Conversation

[while on leave back on Earth]
Kirk: God, I want to eat a hot Spock.
McCoy: You mean a hot dog right?
Kirk: No, I really mean a hot Spock.

Conversation

Bones: You might feel a bit of pressure.
Kirk: Oh god, that’s doctor speak for it’s gonna hurt like a mother fu—ahhhhh!
Bones: There! There, there, there. All done.
Kirk: Sadist.

Conversation

Bones: How many Jim Kirk’s does it take to follow the Prime Directive?
Kirk: I don’t know.
Bones: Me neither, cause you’ve never fucking done it.

Conversation

Bones: There are always lessons in failures.
Spock: Yes. You must be very wise by now.

Conversation

Kirk: Can you think of a single more beautiful name than Spock?
Bones: Obviously, any name. Like LITERALLY any name.

Conversation

Bones: Has it occurred to you th-
Spock: Probably.

Conversation

Kirk: Fact the 1st, after years of not caring about my debt, you weirdly want me to pay it back now. That implies to me there is a sudden, unexpected expense.
Bones: Or I got sick of waiting for you to do the right thing.
Kirk: Not plausible. You have endless patience for my shenanigans. Fact the 2nd, you’ve had dentist appointments twice in the past two weeks. No one goes dentist that much. I haven’t been in seven years.
Bones: You should go dentist, Jim.
Kirk: Probably. My teeth hurt all the time. Fact the 3rd, I’m really liking this “Fact the” thing, I’m gonna stick with it.

Conversation

Kirk: Can I ask you a question?
Bones: Do you have to?

Conversation

Kirk: I want to tell a joke but I only remember the punch line.
Bones: Go ahead.
Kirk: Tooth hurty.
Bones: “When is the best time to go to the dentist?”
Kirk: You complete me.