quark and odos nonsexual mental chess match of smuggling increasingly small amounts of pointless shit like illegal ballpoint pens that are illegal cuz they write too smoothly and would put the terrible ferengi ballpoint pen industry out of business and odos like yes i will crack open your suspicious boxes you leave out and quarks like oh you want to inspect me? and odos like absolutely not
To sum up, it’s never really touched on that Sisko has Dukat’s old office, and the implications of this. One of the theories thrown in was that a week after settling in, a life-sized bronze statue of Dukat shows up (after being held up in Bolian customs for three weeks), and Sisko has to sign for it. They don’t know what to do with it, so it just does the rounds of the station:
It ends up in the rec room for Julian and Miles to throw things at.
Kira gets back from a week-long mission to Bajor, finds it just inside her bedroom door. Barely misses it with her phaser.
She places it just so inside the infirmary doors, so it’ll topple onto Julian when he walks in the following morning.
Nog looses a bet with Jadzia, has to sneak it into Sisko’s office wearing the ‘Everybody loves me’ shirt.
Revenge is enacted.
Quark thinks it’d be a great way to fool Odo. Turns out paper plates sticky-taped on aren’t the answer.
It ends up at Garak’s. No one’s sure exactly how or why, but the results are beautiful.
Ziyal, my poor baby. Sisko’s given her a cargo bay to decorate.
At one point, O’Brien has to go on an urgent mission. For some godforsaken reason, the statue has ended up in the runabout and there’s no time to unload it. So he pilots for 54 hours straight while feeling the itch of Dukat’s soulless glare on the back of his head.
Oh, and they might have won the war by posting all these to the… whatever the Trek equivalent of the net is.
I love you so much you have no idea. I’m crying (of laughter) right now.
me n my gf are watching ds9 and we’re at the part where garak starts flirting with dukat’s underage/barely legal daughter and we’re both just like,,, why the fuck didn’t they go for Jake/Ziyal they’re the same age and they’re both artists and how fucking fuNNY would it be for dukat and sisko to be in laws
garakworf is funny because garak feels very cool and smooth while making fun of worf for liking him but the second worf is comfortable enough displaying genuine emotions garak is like “i see on an unrelated note i must now lie down forever”
Cadet Nog serves as a living communication system aboard the Defiant.
I loved how Nog not being human was always framed as a benefit, not a problem. He is allowed to thrive and become a valued member of the crew based on his abilities and skills, some of which comes natural with Ferengi biology or culture.