Category: kirk

Conversation

kirk: im bi, which means i can only be attracted to two things.
bones: im not sure thats wha-
kirk: ive chosen spock and spock

Conversation

Bones: This isn’t the weirdest thing to happen to me today.
Kirk: Well, the day just started.

Conversation

Bones: Uh oh!
Kirk: What?
Bones: You’re in love with the damn hobgoblin.
Kirk: Please. I just respect Spock as a friend, alright? It’s not as though I lay awake at night thinking about him.
Kirk, lying in bed awake later that night: …Uh oh.

Conversation

kirk: im CRYING. you made me CRY.
bones: baby
kirk: now is NOT the time for pet names
bones: no im calling you a baby
bones: im insulting you

Conversation

Spock: How do I alert the Captain to my affections for him?
Bones: Just treat him like he’s the only man in the world.
[later]
Spock, to Kirk: I need your sperm for humanity.

Conversation

kirk: this seems… heterosexual
sulu: don’t know what this is about but i hope you get through it okay 😔🙏
kirk: update: it was heterosexual 🙁
uhura: praying for you 😪

Conversation

Kirk: My day was just made!
Bones: *sighing* What did Spock do?

nalyne: Star Trek or Porno 

nalyne:

Star Trek or Porno 

Conversation

Bones: You’re just like a thief.
Kirk: Am not. Thieves don’t always obey rules, are people you wouldn’t usually suspect, have groups of people like gangs, and actually if it’s okay with you I’ll just stop talking right now.

Conversation

Kirk: Spock and I are so close, we’re like male sisters!
Bones: Don’t you mean brothers?
Kirk: No. Male sisters.