sci-fi jobs that must exist that i find inexplicably amusing:
- space customs
- tow trucks except they’re towing illegally parked spaceships
- for that matter, spaceship thieves, if only for how much more effort i imagine that would take
- irs agents who have to find tax evaders who went 2 or 3 galaxies over
- literally everything about the concept of the space version of the dmv
- imagine being the person who teaches hapless 16 year olds how to fly a spaceship
- people who analyze Old Earth media for a living the same way people now analyze shakespeare or beowulf, aka a bunch of scholarly and serious academics writing papers arguing the true meaning of Mean Girls and Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure and A Very Potter Musical
- cruise spaceships. you’re taking a slow tour of saturn’s rings and people are still complaining about you running out of cocktail sauce
feel free to add more
- Space cartographer. Some poor sucker’s gotta literally count the stars in order to chart ‘em. Did you think computers made the maps??
- Gas station attendant, but in space. You thought earth truck stops were liminal? Try pausing to refuel on an asteroid hurtling though the middle of inky-black nowhere. You’d see some interesting folks pass through, though
- Imagine working at a space hotel, for that matter
- Traveling Salesman
op, back again, with more
- IT workers who deal with tech that can communicate across the multiverse, rearrange people’s molecules, and communicate with ancient eldritch gods…….and 9 out of 10 problems can still be fixed with “read the instruction manual” or “did you turn it off and back on again”
- let’s players. people’s love of video games and screaming profanity at said video games transcends galaxy and species lines
- the post office. bravest people in ‘verse. though they did have to change their creed. it’s now: “neither snow nor rain nor heat nor black holes nor meteor showers nor solar flares stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds…”
- also, food delivery peeps. all the above danger + dealing with more drunk aliens.
- SPACE UBER
- tourist traps. “welcome to the galaxy’s biggest ball of yarn. yes, it’s this one, not the one on mars. the martians are filthy liars and they’ve always been jealous of our superior attraction.”
- science museum tour guides. the museums have gotten…….very big. it’s a very exhausting job, but it’s so worth it when the field trips full of kids from various galaxies get all excited
- space drug dealers
stop pitting captains against each other!
- kirk is kind
- picard is wise
- sisko is compassionate
- janeway is intelligent
- archer is brave
- pike is charming
listen i like Discovery but the fact that Sarek is played by the same actor as Ferdinand in Orphan Black is Too Much. How am I meant to watch him be an emotionally withholding alien dad and just not think about him doing british bdsm stuff??
You’re acting like Amanda Grayson is not 100 % stepping on him with high heels in the sanctity of their minimalist boudoir.
Omg who’s gonna write the Sarek/Amanda cock and ball torture fic????
I’m sure @idiot-riker is very happy about starting this thread right now.
You guys, I spent like 5 full minutes trying to remember when Doug Jones was in Orphan Black as a kinky british guy before I realised I read Sarek wrong
To be fair to you, there’s no tv show or movie on Earth where you could say “Doug Jones was in that” and I could just dismiss it straight away.
Was there a tree in that? Did it bend? That could be Doug Jones.
Part of me wants to attribute AOS Jim Kirk and Leonard McCoy’s legendary lifelong best friendship to a combination of kismet, effort, and kindred souls recognizing each other, and part of me wants to say it was because Bones sat down on the shuttle, greeted the person next to him, and mentally said, I Have Officially Met One Human Being And Now I Am Done Forever.
[scene: we are transported into the daring post-federation future. ideals are being questioned. things are tense. michael burnham has just met up with some trill.]
some trill: yeah i’m any-kinda-trill-name dax. i’m explaining what a trill is to you because the joining thing is still a secret where you’re from
michael: oh cool tell me about your hosts
any-kinda-trill-name dax: well the most important thing to know is that i had one past host from the 25th century whose name was ezri. she was a cool lesbian therapist. she’s the one who broke up with julian bashir so he could date his lizard ex.
michael: with all due respect sir i don’t know who these people are
any-kinda-trill-name dax: [looks directly at the screen without saying a word] as i was saying. my past host ezri. dumped julian bashir.