Category: mckirk

Conversation

Kirk: [in the middle of a mission going South] You know, it’s at times like this that I really wish I’d listened to what Bones told me.
Spock: Why, what did he tell you?
Kirk: I don’t know, I didn’t listen.

On their first day as roommates at the academy

Jim: Let’s tell tech other secrets about ourselves.
Bones: Okay, I’ll go first. I hate you.

Conversation

kirk: hey bones, could I crash in your room tonight?
bones: let me ask the captain.
kirk: but I’m the cap-?
bones: he said no.

Conversation

Kirk: does sarcasm help?
Bones: wouldn’t it be a great universe if it did?

lmao remember when I used to send these everyd…

lmao remember when I used to send these everyday. au where bones gets abandoned on an island by his ship's crew bc they blamed him for them getting scurvy, and he's picked up by jim's ship. except jim is a feared pirate known for mercilessness. except apparently they'd needed a doctor and he thinks he's cute?? holy shit???

I’m a S U C K E R for pirate aus oh my goddddd

Conversation

Bones: Jim, what’s wrong?
Kirk: I’m sitting in a pool of blood.
Bones: …Is it… your blood?
Kirk: Yes, I think so.
Bones: Do you know where it’s coming from?
Kirk: Probably the stab wound.
Bones: Have you been stabbed?
Kirk: Oh, yeah, definitely.

Conversation

Kirk: With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Bones: Please tell me you’re not on the roof again.

Conversation

Kirk: When’s the last time I ever asked you for anything?
Bones: Yesterday. You asked me to look in your ear to see if there was a ladybug in it.
Kirk: Okay, when’s the last time I ever asked you for anything that wasn’t a medical emergency?
Bones: Yesterday. You asked me to look in your ear to see if there was a ladybug in it.

Conversation

Bones: I’m giving up alcohol for a month.
Kirk: Really?
Bones: Sorry, that came out wrong.
Bones: I’m giving up. Alcohol for a month.

Conversation

Bones: Since we’re now parting ways, I’ve left a complimentary bowl of advice.
Bones: For instance, “Jim, stop doing that”. Just applies to everything.