Category: mckirk

Conversation

bones: and therefore sperm cells are made up of glucose.
kirk: so you’re saying that sperm has sugar in it
bones: Technically
kirk: But it doesn’t even taste like-
bones: what
kirk: what

Conversation

Kirk: Can we agree not to tell Spock this?
Bones: This isn’t even the most disappointing thing he knows about you

Conversation

kirk: i love it when you’re drinking a milkshake and you start getting cramps and your entire face feels bloated it’s so cleansing
kirk: so bones says I’m allergic to lactose

Conversation

Kirk: I’m gonna try to talk to Spock
Bones: Well good luck with that
Kirk: What’s that supposed to mean?
Bones: I don’t know, I’m sobering up so my mood’s in shift

Conversation

Kirk: I’m done being careful.
Bones: You think you’ve been careful so far?

Conversation

Kirk: I’d like you to take a moment to think back to a time when you did something stupid, how you were treated, and how you wish you were treated.
Bones: What did you do?

Conversation

bones, looking through the first aid kit: WHY WOULD YOU FILL IT WITH CHEETOS?!
kirk, bleeding out: I thought it was funny at the time

Conversation

Bones: Is the equipment secure?
Kirk: Check.
Bones: Phasers ready?
Kirk: Check.
Bones: Did you have breakfast?
Kirk: What? That’s not on the checklist.
Bones: I added it because I care about you.
Kirk: No, I did not have breakfast.
Bones: Unacceptable. Look in your pocket.
Kirk: [pulls out granola bar] Hey, there’s little chocolate chips in this.
Bones: Yeah, I’m not an idiot. I know how to trick you into eating your fiber.

Conversation

Chapel: [literally doing her job] Okay, where’s the next patient? [She pulls the curtains to see Jim sprawled like a French girl on the medical bed.]
Kirk: Hey, baby… what?! Where’s Bones?
Chapel: [walks right back out]

Conversation

Kirk: I miss Spock.
Bones: You still have me.
Kirk: It’s not the same! I can talk to Spock about things that… that I can’t talk about with you.
Bones: Such as?
Kirk: Well, for instance, the annoying things that you do.
Bones: Jim!
Kirk: See, I can’t talk to you!