Category: mckirk

Kirk: Don’t you see what this means?
Bones: Yes. We’re going to die.
Kirk: Yes, but apart from that.
Bones: Apart from that?
Kirk: It means we must be on to something!
Bones: How soon can we get off it?


I’ve had this steaming pile of garbage stewing in my head for DAYS. And I couldn’t post it when I finally finished because apparently Tumblr hates my .png files now. FUCK YOU! NOW EVERYONE HAS TO DEAL WITH JPEGS!


For @conduitstr; happy birthday, girl! 

❤️ ✨

  • The moment the old steam train stops in the station, Jim is quick to hop
    out. He doesn’t carry any luggage with him, he doesn’t plan to stay long. Just
    a quick look around the town; see if any of it is worth his time and his money.
    It smells like dry grass, grease, and the perfumes of different people mix
    together as other visitors depart the train now, too. Okay, Jim thinks to himself, time
    to go exploring
  • Leaving the station, he arrives at the main street. It’s really a dirt
    road, old wooden and stone houses on either side of it. People walk by; some in
    awe of their surroundings, others walk around like they don’t know any better.
    It doesn’t take him long to find the local saloon. There’s piano music to lift
    up the atmosphere. People are sitting, chatting, playing card games together,
    or being approached by the local host girls. Jim, too, is approached by one. “Hey, handsome,” she
    says, and Jim’s lips curl into a smile when she reaches out to touch his arm,
    “how about you and I go and have some fun upstairs?” Tempting. Very
    tempting. But Jim shakes his head nonetheless. “No, thank you. Perhaps
    later,” he replies, and then buys a glass of bourbon at the bar.
  • He’s quietly chatting to the bartender, trying to figure out more about
    this town. After a couple minutes, though, there’s commotion outside, so Jim
    goes to check it out. A group of bandits has arrived and are actively creating
    havoc. Jim has to duck besides liquor filled barrels to avoid bullets flying
    his way. The same girl who tried to get him upstairs before tries to duck, too,
    but she gets shot before she gets the chance to. Jim forgets all about his own
    safety, jumping up to drag her to safety instead. “Are you okay? Where are you
    hurt?” he asks, though the red stain on her dress is indication enough. “I need…
    I need a doctor,” she breathes, looking at Jim through tear stained eyes, and
    Jim nods. “Of course.”
  • They have to wait until the shooting is over, and by then, Jim worries
    it’s too late for her. He’s used his knife to break open one of the barrels,
    and uses the clear liquid to clean up the wound in her side the best he can,
    while simultaneously trying to keep her quiet. Then, he carries her to the
    doctor’s office. It’s small and it’s dusty – fairly sure it doesn’t fit the
    health regulations. It’s also busy, all the wounded who are still alive are all
    sitting on available chairs or lying on the floor while a single guy works to
    fix them all. “Doctor?” Jim says, “I need a doctor.” “Get in line,” the guy
    replies. “Please,” Jim stresses, and the guy sighs. “Put her down, I’ll be
    right there.”
  • The work is slow and frustrating, and so Jim decides to help out. He
    uses alcohol, gently cleaning the wounds of the men and women who are hurt. He
    doesn’t really know how to bandage them up properly, but he does his best –
    messy as it looks. “Thanks,” the guy says, and Jim shrugs lightly. “It’s fine.
    Does this happen a lot?” “More often than I care to admit,” he replies, “I’d
    treat you to a glass of strong liquor, but you used most of it on the wounds of
    these people.”
  • Life here is just hard, it seems. The doctor works through the night
    while Jim sleeps in the local inn. Come morning, it’s mostly curiosity who
    brings him back. Leonard looks exhausted, perhaps a little frustrated. “Are you
    okay?” Jim asks. “I’m out of supplies,” Leonard says, “last night, I’ve been
    raided. Stole most of my bandages and medicine. I’m thinking about going on a
    supply run to the next town, but the road is long and dangerous.” “I’ll join
    you,” Jim shrugs. “Really?” “Sure, sounds fun,” Jim replies. “I’ll pay you,”
    Leonard says, and Jim simply shrugs to that. It’s not like he genuinely needs
    the money.
  • They leave after Leonard gets someone to look after the office while he’s
    out. Jim’s never been on a horse before, but the horse seems to immediately
    listen to whatever’s on Jim’s mind, and the start of the journey is pretty
    harmless. Leonard talks a little about his life. About how he lost his wife and
    kids to raiders when he lived on a small farm outside the town. How his parents
    were taken by a deadly illness that made him become a doctor. He speaks with
    such hurt in his voice, that Jim wonders why anyone would want to live in these
    outback towns. Sounds like it sucks.
  • They stop an hour before sunset, near a small river. Good, too, because
    Jim’s legs hurt, and his feet feel a little unstable after riding for so long.
    He ties the horses to a tree and searches for firewood while Leonard returns
    just before sunset with two dead rabbits. “You’re a doctor and a skilled
    hunter, you’re pretty good with your hands, huh?” Jim comments, and Leonard
    shoots him a small grin. “You haven’t seen anything yet.”
  • They eat dinner, which is surprisingly good. It gets cold at night, so
    Jim is glad for the fire to keep them warm. They talk more while overlooking a
    sky full of stars; large mountains looming in the distance. The gentle stream
    of the water is soothing to Jim’s ears, and he finds himself just dozing off to
    sleep. The same thing happens the day after. They spend time together, and Jim
    grows rapidly closer to this handsome doctor, who stitches him up when Jim
    guides his horse through a bigger river and hurts his foot through a sharp rock
    that hits him through the sole of his boot. They run into a lone woman who
    cries for help because her family’s hurt in her farmhouse, and so Leonard
    decides to take a detour from his own quest to help them. They save a family’s
    life (or Leonard does, mostly), and Jim feels pretty awesome about that.
  • “How much further, Bones?” Jim asks, and Leonard raises an eyebrow. “Bones?”
    “Seems a fitting nickname,” Jim says, “for all the patching up you do.” “We
    should be there in the afternoon,” Leonard replies. Jim watches the other’s
    back figure as he rides in front of him. It’s a good sight.
  • But it’s almost as if Leonard registers that feeling, or something.
    Because they arrive and get Leonard’s supplies, but come nightfall on their way
    back, Jim finds Leonard sitting closer to him than usual. Leonard teaches him
    how to hunt. Standing behind him with his arms around Jim’s shoulders, hands on
    Jim’s to make sure he aims properly. Really, it just makes Jim more distracted.
    When they get raided on the road, Leonard actively stands in front of Jim to try and
    protect him, though they make it out alright. Just with a few supplies less,
    because Leonard patches up the cut in Jim’s hand. “I wanted to thank you,”
    Leonard says, “for coming with me. In these lands, it’s hard to tell apart
    friend or foe. You’ve been good to me.” Jim smiles at that, reaching out to
    keep the other’s hand on his own a little longer. “Just a friend?” he asks with a smile, growing even wider when Leonard leans in to kiss him.
  • It just feels too good to be true. And it is. Because they get back to
    the town a few days later, and Jim feels oddly intimate to this man and just
    wants to be in his presence all the time. But he doesn’t get that lucky. They
    make it to the doctor’s office, and Bones gets to work immediately. But while
    he’s at work, a civilian comes in and demands he gives up some supplies. Jim
    gets up to help Leonard when the doctor refuses, but before Jim knows it,
    Leonard gets shot. Just like that. There’s a commotion while people flee, but
    Jim rushes towards the doctor instead. He kneels down next to him, grabbing his
    hand quickly. “Bones, please, tell me what I can do to help you,” he says,
    reaching out with his free hand to grab a hold of supplies. But there’s blood everywhere. “It’s okay,” Leonard breathes heavy,
    fingers tight in Jim’s grip, though rapidly weakening.
  • Leonard dies seconds later. Jim is devastated; staying by Leonard’s side
    for what feels like hours. In reality, though, it’s no more than twenty minutes
    before the men in the hazmat-like suits show up. They have to pry Leonard from
    his hands. They have to convince him it’s okay, because they’re going to fix up
    the broken skin tissue. They’re going to reset Leonard’s data. And they’re
    going to roll him back out. Leonard’s going to be okay.
  • “Do they suffer?” Jim asks, once he’s back in the real world. It feels
    surreal not to be in the wild west anymore. “They think they do,” his
    spokesperson says, “they think they feel pain. They feel terror, fear for their
    lives. They feel the pain from their written backstory, most of them tragic.
    Like Leonard and his wife and kids. It gives them character. Makes guests and
    potential buyers such as yourself more engaged.” Jim frowns at that, because
    somehow, that just seems wrong.
  • The moment the old steam train stops in the station, Jim is quick to hop
    out. He doesn’t carry any luggage with him, he doesn’t plan to stay long. But
    this time, he’s not here to look around. He’s not here to admire the life-like
    scents of the place. He’s not here to watch his surroundings in awe like other
    guests do, nor is he here to interact with those who don’t know any better. He
    passes the local saloon, and instead, heads straight for the doctor’s office.
    The bell rings when the door opens, and Leonard is there. Beautiful as ever. “You
    don’t look sick,” Leonard tells him after a quick scan from top to bottom.
    He doesn’t remember Jim, and that stings, “you need a patching up? I also
    have a good hangover cure.” “No, thank you,” Jim says,
    struggling to make sense as to why this thing, this robot in front of him, tugs
    at his heartstrings so much. “I can patch up nearly everything,”
    Leonard continues, “though I’m running real low on supplies these
    days-” sounds like a set up for a similar quest like the one Jim went on
    before. Suddenly, it all feels a little played out. “Bones,” Jim
    interrupts him, and just briefly, Jim witnesses the other narrow his eyes ever
    so lightly. Like the nickname is a very distant memory he’s trying to access.
    “Bones,” Jim continues, resting his hand on Leonard’s shoulder,
    “one of these days, I promise, I’m going to get you out of here.”


look at that weirdo

Bones: Do you ever just walk into a room and forget what you were doing?
Kirk, sweating: uhhh
Bones: *scratches head with hypo* I hate when this happens

Bones: How would you rate your pain?
Kirk: 0/10
Bones: How- your arm is literally going the wrong way-
Kirk: As in 0/10 would NOT recommend

Bones: I’m going to take everything said by someone who would willingly go into space with a grain of salt.
Kirk: Well, technically now you willingly went into space so think about that.
Bones: Oh shit…
Kirk: So I don’t even know if I could trust you.
Bones: Uhh… I’m in space but I don’t… wh…
Kirk: Oh my god, did your brain just explode?
Bones: Oh wow… did I willingly go into space? I don’t want to be in space right now! This is all bullshit! Son of a bitch!

bones: i knew it, we shouldn’t have come
kirk: we had to, there’s strength in numbers
bones: there’s also death in numbers, it’s called a massacre

Kirk: do not fret
Bones: i am fretting its what i do

Bones: What did you do?
Kirk, under his breath: I sucked dick on accident…
Bones: What?
Kirk: I sucked dick on accident!
Bones: How the f u c k do you suck dick on accident???