Category: scotty

kirk: ok so are there any questions? scotty?
scotty: yeah, you caught me! i’m drunk okay!
kirk: no, you raised your ha…?
scotty: i don’t know how you knew but i’m high too! i smoke weed and i drink!!!

anticmiscellaney:

Star Trek concept: it’s the same except Scotty talks like everyone on r/ScottishPeopleTwitter.

(I am sure this has been done)

Bones: Jim, why the hell, of all people, do you have a crush on the hobgoblin?
Kirk: Who the fuck told you that?
Scotty: …
Kirk: SCOTTY
Scotty: I didn’t know it was some big secret!
Kirk: oh it wasn’t a big secret
Kirk: JUST LIKE THE TATTOO OF THE ENTERPRISE YOU GOT ON YOUR ASS NOT BEING A BIG SECRET
Sulu: YOU HAVE A WHAT?
Uhura: Scotty????
Chekov: LET ME SEE LET ME SEE
Scotty: Mr. Chekov isn’t really from Russia, he’s been faking it the whole time!
Scotty: If I’m going down, I’m taking everybody with me
Sulu: Pavel, why would you lie about something like that?
Chekov: I don’t know, why do you own lingerie?
Uhura: Oh my fucking god
Sulu: UHURA WROTE AN EROTIC NOVEL
Chapel: Nyota Uhura, you dirty hoe!
Uhura: Christine has the biggest daddy kink!!!!
Chapel: Nyota, I told you that in confidence!!!
Bones: I can’t believe the best damn nurse on this ship has a daddy kink…
Chapel: LEONARD ONCE HAD A WET DREAM ABOUT MR. BEAN
Bones: I ONCE SAW SPOCK CRY BECAUSE JIM WASN’T PAYING ATTENTION TO HIM
Kirk: this is so chaotic im losing my mind what is wrong with this ship

poetic—-nonsense:

I would love to see more of Mirror Scotty, for the sole reason that it is physically impossible for Scotty to be intimidating. Like, he’s demonstrated that he can whup the tar out of someone, and whilst the ass-kicking is going on you’d be thinking, “boy, I ought to try to stay out of THAT in the future,” but as soon as the ass-kickery is over Scotty could be standing on you shouting “WHAT’S MY NAME” and your first reaction would be “wow………………….. an actual human gummy bear.”

I JUST this now realized Generations was making fun of the TOS lighting here.

Scotty: Hey guys, I just heard about this amazing lecture on Warp Core mechanics, who’s in?
Uhura: Sorry, I’m ummmm… I don’t know, washing my hair.
Sulu: Running the water.
Kirk: Holding the towel.
Chekov: I’ll be home trying to get over the fact that no one invited me to the big hair washing party.

astronomicalpanty:

Wait, Scotty, don’t beam me up-

dsjjds i just needed an excuse to sketch out a picture of my guy, Scotty

chekovmadeablogand:

hey kids

want some transparent aluminum

image

Kirk: Question: when does this get fun?
Scotty: It’s not supposed to be fun, it’s a Spock idea.
Spock: Exact-wait, what?

Bitch, what?!