Kirk: Hey guys, we’re all gonna visit Scotty down in MedBay during lunch. And we’re kicking in $5 for flowers.
Chekov: Who’s we, you and Spock?
Kirk: No, uh, me, Uhura and Sulu so far.
Chekov: Oh, I bet Spock goes too.
Kirk: Yeah, I haven’t asked him yet.
Chekov: Oh, I bet you’ll ask him.
Kirk: I was planning on it.
Chekov: I bet you were.
Kirk: Spock, we tried things your way.
Spock: No, we didn’t.
Kirk: I did in my head, and it didn’t work.
Kirk: [opening a gift from Spock] This is my favorite book. How did you know this was my favorite book?
Spock: You showed me a picture of it once and said ‘this is my favorite book’.
Kirk: I’m nobody’s plus one. I’m VIP, bitches.
Spock: Bitches? It’s just me. One bitch.
Kirk: I’m sleeping with Spock
Bones: Why? Why did you do this and what exactly is what you did? What is it for? Fun? Nothing? What? Who gets something from it and why do they get what they get?
Bones: And… what is what they get? Why do you? Why did you? Why did you do what you do? Also, is this the kind of thing you do? And, where is this exactly? Where does it take place and for whom? Who can see it when it is happening and who are they and why are they that? And what will this do? And are you sure you want what what this will do did?
Bones: Also, do you know who Spock is? Or, much more likely, do you think he is someone he is not? Who do you think he is? Can you see him? When you look at him, what do you see? Something good?
Bones: In closing… why?
Kirk: …You what?
Spock, his face green with flush: I made myself clear and will not repeat myself…
Spock: I know you do not feel the same…
Kirk, blinking back tears at Spock’s words: No, you idiot, I do! I’ve always lo—
Spock: If you put one more tribble on this ship you’re disowned.
Kirk: *starts talking about his feelings*
Kirk: And then I-
Kirk: Spock, are you climbing out the window?
Spock: [leg halfway through] no.
Kirk: What should I do?
Spock: Is this the part of the conversation in which I give you advice and you pretend you are going to listen to it?
Kirk: Sometimes I do listen to you, you know.
Spock: That hasn’t been my experience.