Chekov: i have ants in my pants
Sulu: i have plants in my pants
Jim: i have a vulcan in my pants
Spock: [pops out] hello
Bones: You know what you are? You’re a beard with an idiot hanging off of it.
Spock: But I don’t have a beard-
Bones: Well then you’re just an idiot.
Bones: I’ve always felt out of place in space, like a long petunia in an onion patch.
Spock: I am afraid I do not understand the relevance of onions to the situation at hand-
Jim: oh god not the metaphors
Jim: Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I’m not Spock, and that Spock, is an idiot.
Spock: I never suspected otherwise, Captain.
Bones, under his breath: Idiot.